What A Year!

Two more days, and year 2020 will be over. What a year this has been! Everyone of us has a long list of things they missed out on. Since the outbreak of the pandemic, our lives have changed. No going out, home is the refuge. No socialising, no guests. It has been a long period of hibernation. Things like going for a walk, going shopping, meeting friends, attending cultural events, travelling, and eating out have been long forgotten. One always took these things for granted, but they have become luxuries now. Following the protocol to fight the virus is the top priority. 

For many, this year brought material loss like losing jobs or losing means of earning a livelihood. For others, it has meant losing near and dear ones to the pandemic. For almost everyone, it has been unsettling; bringing a sense of insecurity, uncertainty, and fear. Personal interactions, that were an integral part of our existence, reduced, making way for social distancing. Family gatherings, getting together to celebrate or grieve over a certain event, meetings of any kind--social, cultural, religious, academic, business--have had to be curtailed.

Looking at the other side, over the last several months, we have realised some things; like the goodness of home-cooked meals, the joy of spending time at home with family, and the importance of people around us who help us with domestic chores, who supply items of daily needs to our homes, and who keep our neighbourhoods clean. We have seen the sacrifices made and risks taken by all those who attended to their call of duty even when the pandemic was raging. A big salute to all of them!

The powerful virus that has had such a wide-ranging impact on all of us, is taking its own time to relent. But when it does, let us not forget the lessons it has taught us. Of valuing the fresh air and the sunshine, the smile on a loved one's face, the laughter of family and friends filling our homes, sharing our joys and sorrows with loved ones, pats on the back, holding hands, and hugs. Let the New Year be the beginning of the end of these difficult times!

Second Act With Manisha Koirala!

I was at the Hindu Lit For Life (Hindu LFL) that concluded in Chennai recently. It is a big event and there are parallel sessions running in different spaces at any given time. So it is practically not possible for anybody to attend all sessions. One chooses what one wants and plans accordingly. I had decided on attending quite a few, and a session with Manisha Koirala was one of them. Titled "Second Act", it was to feature her in conversation with Dr. Sheela Nambiar, an obstetrician and gynaecologist by training who also practises Lifestyle Medicine. and is a fitness consultant. 

I remember Manisha as a beautiful and competent actress, having seen her performances in "1942: A Love Story" (1994), "Agni Sakshi" (1996),  Khamoshi: The Musical (1996) and some other films. Reports of her being struck by ovarian cancer emerged some time in 2012-2013. She put up a brave fight and emerged victorious after surgery and treatment in the USA. Her book "Healed: How Cancer Gave Me A New Life", published by Penguin India in 2018 tells the story of her battle with the dreaded disease. She was at the Hindu LFL to talk about this difficult chapter in her life.

She came on the stage dressed in a dark blue and white ensemble-- a mix of blouse/top and salwar/dhoti, her hair pulled back and tied in a severe bun. She smiled a lot and established an instant rapport not only with Dr. Nambiar, but also with the audience. She looked calm and at peace with herself in spite of the ravages of time and cancer on her lovely face.

She talked of her reckless lifestyle when she was at the peak of her career, and the resultant neglect of health. How she went into a denial mode after she learnt of her cancer, thinking all the time that perhaps the doctors had made a mistake, maybe the reports were wrong. Then the painful treatment and its aftermath. How her family, her mother in particular, provided solid support to her during those testing times. How thinking positively helped her overcome her disease. How important it is to be strong and optimistic even while going through unbearable pain. How this phase has taught her to take care of her body, to make the most of what life has to offer, to live.

Dr. Nambiar was understanding and supportive all along, allowing Manisha to be in her comfort zone. Manisha, on the other hand was frank and quite open. She said it was important to keep negativity and resentment at bay, and move on with one's life. She has understood the importance of giving, not just money; but time, love and care to others. She has emerged out of her ordeal as a better person, more compassionate, more loving, more giving. 

She has resumed work after recovery. She appeared in "Dear Maya" in 2017, then in a Netflix anthology "Lust Stories", and essayed the role of Nargis in Sanjay Dutt's biopic "Sanju" in 2018. She will continue working, but currently she is training for a trek to the Everest base camp that she plans to undertake with her friends.

The audience cheered her throughout the interaction. Reacting to a question she disclosed that the doctors had still not said that she was completely cured--I have told myself that I am cured now. When somebody asked if she thought of committing suicide at any point of time, she laughed and said, I had cancer already, why would I think of suicide. The 50-minute interaction was full of warmth, honesty and smiles. 

I am happy I sat in, it gave me a chance to see the person behind the larger-than-life image of a film actress. Somebody from the audience summed it up well when he got up and said to Manisha, "We heard all the other talks with our mind, but your talk has touched our hearts ma'am!" 

"Anumati": The Permission

I stumbled upon a Marathi film "Anumati" (2013) on the telly the other day. I liked what I saw. 

Ratnakar (Vikram Gokhale) is a retired school teacher, a romantic at heart; a poet. His wife Madhu (Neena Kulkarni) is the force that has been steering their family, leaving Ratnakar to dream, read and write. Both their children--a son and a daughter--are married, and busy with their own families. The elderly couple lives in a small house in picturesque Shrivardhan, a town by the beach along the Konkan coast.

We come to know all this in bits and pieces, through flashbacks. The film opens when the comatose Madhu is lying in a Mumbai hospital, her distraught husband by her side. She has suffered a brain haemorrhage, and is being kept on life support systems. Each additional day at the hospital costs money and they have already exhausted their modest savings in the last few days. The doctors are fuelling the family's hopes in their characteristic measured words.

Ratnakar is hopeful, his son is not. He is under pressure from his son to sign the "Do not resuscitate" form, but he cannot bring himself to authorize an act that might end Madhu's life. He turns to his daughter and his brother for help. He is ready to sell his house in Shrivardhan. He just wants the hospital to try for a few more days, hoping that Madhu would recover.The story underlines the ugly commercial aspect of hospitals today: exploiting people emotionally in order to run their business.

Vikram Gokhale is a veteran who delivers a powerful performance, expressing the pain, desperation and helplessness of Ratnakar with finesse. His small interactions with his daughter, daughter-in-law, brother and son are enough to tell us what kind of relationships they share with each other. And though the story is centred around a patient on a hospital bed, we are not confined to that small room. Ratnakar's efforts to raise money take us to different places, allowing us snippets from the lives of his extended family; and treating us to some wonderful shots of Konkan in the rain. The cinematographer is Govind Nihalani!

Ratnakar's childhood friend Ambu (Reema) brings a lot of energy with her entry into the story. Her scenes with Ratnakar are warm, positive and definitely feel-good.

It is a sensitive subject, handled extremely well by director Gajendra Ahire. He has written the screenplay, dialogue and composed music too. Kishore Kadam, Subodh Bhave, Sai Tamhankar and Neha Pendse are all very good in their supporting roles. It is a touching story of love, told very simply. No wonder then that it has won wide critical acclaim, and that Vikram Gokhale has bagged the National Film Award for Best Actor.

Cold-Shouldering The Discomfort!

It is amazing how confident we are that nothing will ever happen to us. Confident to the point of being arrogant. We are smug in our belief that things happen only to others.

It all began when I stepped out into the balcony three weeks ago. Now, this is a small balcony that I use to hang my laundry everyday. So it is a familiar territory. But that day, it had rained for a short while just before the washing machine played the usual tune announcing the completion of the spin cycle. Determined to finish the chore of hanging the washed clothes, I went to the balcony with my basket. Looking at the wet floor outside, I did something that I never do. I took off my slippers and went about finishing my task barefoot.

It took one uncontrolled step on the wet surface to bring me down. I fell flat on my stomach, my left shoulder bearing most of my weight. My glasses flew away to one corner. The parapet wall was too far to hold onto it for support. Luckily there was help at home. But even with help, I could not bring myself to move for about ten minutes. Tears rolled down my face as I lay there. Shocked and dumbfounded, I was hurt as much by the fall as by the incredulity of having fallen, having slipped.

Then began the guessing game: will it be a fracture or won't it? Of course we hoped not and continued to believe so till the CT scan report was positive, confirming a fracture in the left shoulder. Before the report came, we looked for obvious signs. There was pain, but no swelling. An icepack made hastily by shoving ice cubes in a plastic bag was pressed into action. Slowly it dawned on me that I could not lift my left hand behind my head to tie my hair in a clip as I normally do.

The doctor made sure that I don't do what I could not do anyway, namely use the shoulder joint. For more than the past three weeks, my arm is tied in a sling pouch, rendering it inactive. The men in the house have risen to the occasion, "manning" the kitchen and doing sundry chores around the house. They are standing shoulder to shoulder with me in helping me cope with the situation. Sometimes they have to put their shoulders to the wheel, but they have demonstrated that they have broad shoulders. I am waiting to take the weight of these additional responsibilities off their shoulders, but for that to happen, my shoulder has to come back to normalcy. For now, opening a water bottle or a sugar or coffee tin is a challenge. Simple tasks that I performed daily look formidable.

But as they say, this too shall pass. We are not getting any younger and I should remember to look over my shoulder while moving around. The gift of having a healthy body has been underlined afresh in my mind. I look forward to having a nice shower and smelling the shampoo in my hair. We take these small pleasures too much for granted! In the mean time, I am trying my best to give the cold shoulder to all my discomfort.